Our Chance to Change!
As is the case of many that have posted over the past few days, this is my first attempt at blogging, so here goes!
For me, weight has been an issue my entire adult life. I’ve tried all kinds of solutions – from personal trainers, to months of liquid diets, to classes at the hospital, to Weight Watchers and other programs. Nothing has really worked.
During all of these times of ups and down, I have kept a journal. Granted, I am not the most diligent at keeping up with it, but I did manage to write in it when I was most excited or most troubled.
So, the evening that I heard about RBL, I opened up my journal and read the last entry that I had written.
“Wednesday, 10/29/2014. I am excited to say that I have rediscovered a passage of scripture that I think I need to really focus on. 1Corinthians 6:12. ‘Everything is permissible to me, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me, but I will not allow anything to gain control over my life.’ For someone who has so many issues with self control (namely, ME), this should become a foundation, a chant, a mantra. Why is it so difficult for me to just DECIDE and DO!? I KNOW what should be done, I just can’t seem to make myself DO it. It’s like my “do” needs to be switched on. I am wired up, trained up, geared up… But still – nothing. What will it take to flip my “do” switch on?”
Well, over the holidays, my “do” switched got flipped on. Not just flipped, but slammed. I woke up one night between Christmas and New Years in a panic; I had awoken from a nightmare. And, although I didn’t remember the entire dream, one part will forever be burned in my brain. I remember watching from above as my 4 year old son ran to my husband and said, “Daddy, where’s Mommy?” And my husband had to reply, “Mommy’s gone. She’s dead.” I immediately woke up after that, but I didn’t need to see or hear anymore – I KNEW what had happened to the dream mommy me. I had died of weight related health issues. My fat and laziness and selfishness and gluttony and complacency had killed me in that dream, and because I had not had the self control that God commands me to have, I was no longer there to love on my kids and husband. I also knew (as Scrooge did in Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”) that this was a warning, and it would be my future in real life if I did not change.
Rob’s Biggest Losers is my springboard for change. I signed up as soon as I heard about it, the week after I had awoken from the nightmare. I applied without thought or question. This was God opening a door, and there was no WAY that I was turning that down. I figured that if I was chosen (and thank God I was) that I would give this everything I have. Praise God that we all have this chance to change!
God Bless you all, Rob’s Biggest Losers! And, Go Team Caine Halter!
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