Taking it back
Hey ya’ll :D,
My name is Alexandrea and here is my story on why I want to take my life back. I had three things I would turn to food for comfort. Most recently my husband lost his job due to a car accident that was due to another driver, his company refused to help him keep his position. With him being the only income this hit us really hard. We lost income, health insurance, a car and much more. We had no money and I wouldn’t eat so my children could, with that when I was able to eat I would literally eat like it was my last meal (because in my head it was, I didn’t know when I would eat again) this is my hardest to break as we are still struggling to get back on our feet. Still don’t have funds to pay bills so trying not to eat in fear is battle 1. Battle 2 is putting myself 1st for once. I have three children on the Autism Spectrum. Threw everything I became extremely depressed and put myself on the back burner to ensure my children had every therapy and opportunity to be the best they could. To hid what was happening, which was mommy was falling apart. I struggled everyday to just get out of bed because having three kids on the spectrum is hard all its own to add loss of money, food, and possibly a home; I just wanted to sleep (which made me become extremely lazy).
Battle 3.I also used food to help cope with past hurts. I ate to insure I wouldn’t become sexually assaulted again because in my head if I was bigger it wouldn’t have happened (really poor way if thinking) I ate for comfort to help with all the anxiety I have. Moral is I eat to cover up pain.
The turn around…My daughter had a 5k fundraiser for her school, she was so excited for me to run it with her and I truly thought I could run most of it, well you guessed it, I couldn’t and to hear and see her disappointment just shattered me. That’s when I decided to put myself first, fight threw my battles and make this a journey to show my kids just because you hit rock bottom doesn’t mean you have to stay there. I am doing this to be able to be a family that goes for runs, hikes, biking and so much more together. To be able to enjoy life and feel good vs. hiding and being ashamed. This is not only a journey of weight loss for me this is a journey to take my life back! To grow spiritually and lean on God like I never have before. To be able to look into the mirror again and say God got you threw it all just like he said. I am ready to walk into God’s plan for me, to help others. The next chapter will be the best yet.