The Burden of Feelings
I have been struggling with feeling like I am failing. Failing at life in general. I am most certainly not putting God first in my life during this season. Job hunting has become an idol. As much as it hurts to say it, it’s good to finally truly acknowledge that it has. I feel less than good about how I envisioned being a wife. I was going to be THAT wife, the wife that cooked and cleaned, that kept laundry up, that was ready for any guest that may stop by. And I am DEFINITELY not THAT wife.
Thursday night after my RBL team meeting my husband and I had a long and meaningful talk in the parking lot on the tailgate of his truck. I finally opened up about how I was really doing. Have you ever felt like life was trying to pull you under and you couldn’t stay afloat? That’s been me. God gave my husband the words to say that would turn into the life raft I had been needing.
All I can say is God has opened my eyes up so much in the first 3 weeks of RBL. He has shown me just how unhealthy my life was as a whole, how I haven’t fully put my trust in Him, and how He is never going to leave me.
Working out is the easy hard part, it’s trying to keep your life the same instead of growing and evolving that’s the real hard part.