Cancer for Valentine’s Day…
This may be TMI… it may just be too personal for it to be even shared on here… However, I feel led to share my story, OUR story!
So here we go… for several months my husband has been experiencing abdominal pain and severe blood loss with each bowel movement. After various pacifying procedures and prescriptions from the GP, and no positive outcome there was one last thing left on the “we’ve tried it all” agenda – a colonoscopy. Colonoscopy not a big deal one could argue, at least so we thought! We sit in the waiting room, joking, laughing, teasing – ’cause that’s what we do, giving each other a hard time – “Happy Valentine’s Day, baby – I’m sorry I forgot the card!”
Moments later he gets called in. Minutes go by, no more than 30, and I get to join him. I sit by his side, stroking his hair as he slowly wakes up after the procedure. It is so quite. So peaceful.
All that, gone – in a blink of an eye – a voice speaks softly:
“…we found a tumor in your colon…” –
“… you have colon cancer…” –
“…there is a 50/50 chance that it has spread…” –
Silence. Dead Silence. Our world stands still. Tears rolling down. Holding each other’s hand. Squeezing, hard. Anger. Confusion. Angst…set in –
I’m crying out to God. I’m questioning God. I’m mad at God.
While my husband, the man by my side who was just diagnosed with cancer, is praising God!
Since that day: One month has passed – tumor has been removed, game plan for chemo has been established, and we – well we have learned to pause, and take life day by day.
So while this story – our story, has absolutely nothing to do with my weight loss journey, from where I stand it has everything to do with God, his beautiful Glory, and His love for us.
During my RBL interview in January I was asked why I was signing up to be RBL, my answer then was, “…because I lost the battle with God.” I didn’t know why I was signing up, all I knew was that I felt led to reach out to His Radio that day and register for RBL…. He knew that for this season of my life it was absolutely essential to be surrounded by all these amazing Godly people, who with all their support, love, prayers, and encouragement would lift up our family and make this a more bearable season. I praise God for my beautiful RBL brothers and sisters in Christ! I praise God for you, His Radio and all the hearts you guys touch!
I was sure by now, God you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away,
Stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say
And as your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
The God who gives and
And I’ll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
That you are who you are
No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm