The internal struggle
I have been struggling with seasonal depression for the last week or so but nobody thinks it is a real problem. I feel like hibernating at home and never going out again. I don’t look forward to any of the things I’ve enjoyed doing and have had to force myself to go out of the house. Work is an everyday battle and I’ve been late almost everyday because I just don’t want to leave the house. I come home and am super clingy with my husband and don’t want either of us to have to go out. It makes me feel bad when he has to really coerce me to get me to go anywhere but I can’t help feeling that way. I feel like there is no point in having to go out and interact with people because I don’t know how to act on a good day much less when I don’t want to be there. I know that part of it is the Devil using my weaknesses against me when it comes to social interaction but the other part is out of my control. Last night I told my bible study leader that I was struggling with seasonal depression and you could have heard a pin drop. She’s normally so chatty and I felt like I made her uncomfortable by telling her that I was struggling. My parent’s don’t believe in depression or my emotional disorder that I take medication for they believe that if you’re a Christian that you can’t have any of those things. At work they think I’m using it as a crutch to be late and cranky. My husband is literally a gift from God because he encouraged me to see a doctor and a therapist to try to help me through my issues. All I can do now is pray and continue to have hope until my body decides to have victory over this seasonal depression. Please know that these conditions are real and people who struggle with them need to feel like they can talk about it without others thinking negatively of them. Please keep me in your prayers as I struggle with this seasonal depression.
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