Why i FINALLY made a change
Let’s talk about the obvious… I am over weight. Obese. Overly Obese. Way Overweight. What ever you want to call it that is me. There is no way to describe me as healthy, or skinny, or in shape… especially not in shape.
I can take you back all the way to high school and tell you a sad story about not knowing about nutrition, being depressed, growing up with a large family but that is not what this blog post is about. Today we are talking about why I FINALLY made a change.
It has not been easy to finally decide to make a change, nothing about this has been easy. It has been hard watching myself get bigger and bigger. It has been difficult realizing I can’t do what I used to do. It has been depressing to realize the list of things I can not do is growing by the day… just like I am.
The most embarrassing part was when I was at Universal Studios with my wife and my father. My father and I could not ride anything other than a 3D movie ride. We ended up getting our money back and I saw the disappointment in my dad’s eyes. I saw his heart break as he realized we can no longer do the family events we used to enjoy doing so much together. I know he took us down to Orlando, FL to have a great time with us because he loves his family so much.
It broke my heart. I tried to pretend it was because of my long legs, I am 6 foot 6 inches tall. It had a lot more to do with my weight and size than my long legs. Going back to my father being disappointed, I saw my self in him. I saw my future self feeling that same disappointment after my daughter is born. I have a miracle baby due in May of this year.
I want to be able to ride rides with her, I want to be able to run with her and chase her around the yard. I want to be able to be a good father who can take her to the park. One who would rather go to the park than sit on the couch because I actually have the energy to do so. I want to be a dad like my dad. His heart’s desire is to have a great time with his family but I am not physically able. I get in my own way of enjoying life because the list of things I cannot do because of my size grows every day.
After coming back from Orlando and a failed vacation I decided to do the thing I have not done in months, maybe even a year. I stepped on the scale at home and all I saw in return was ERROR. Error… can you imagine?! My scale at home which once registered my weight with ease now tells me “Sorry… but you are too fat, please get off!” The last weight I saw on the scale was 415lbs. I did not tell my wife, I did not tell my family. I placed the scale in the closet and tried to forget about it. But I could not forget about it. I thought about it every day. Multiple times a day. I thought about my weight and size until it took over everything. I came to the point where I was secretly thinking about my size non stop. That is when I “made the call”.
I was home along one day and I sat down at the computer, searched His Radio, and filled out the form for Rob’s Big Looser. I didn’t tell anyone at first. A few days went by and nothing. I forgot about it. I thought no way would they pick me, I am too big. I will mess up their record of helping people loose weight. Of course that was all a lie and I received the call from His Radio and here I am.
The changing point was a few parts. One realizing the things I can do is a shorter and shorter list everyday. Second, feeling the disappointment I will soon feel if I don’t change things. If I don’t change things my daughter and I will never be able to enjoy anything that has a size limit on it, which are a lot of things for kids. Third, the scale telling me to get with it or else.
So I am very happy I am here. I have already made big changes but that is for another blog post.
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