Where’s my bus stop?
To all the RBL blog followers I apologize for not writing in awhile. I never want to be a stumbling block for anyone and I feel like I could discourage some people who read this. I have been riding the struggle bus since the beginning of March. I keep hoping we are getting to my bus stop but it never seems to happen. Before RBL, I had very poor nutritional choices – fast food, junk food, sweets, and comfort food. Food I now realize had become an addiction for me used to soothe my worries and stresses. When we had kick off I was like ok this it it, all of that went away. I went to the complete opposite and went to healthy eating. I have struggled through this nutritional piece. There is so much to learn and understand and I can never seem to get a handle on it. What gives me this without giving me that? What should I do at this time? Where do I find healthy carbs? The list could go on. I do feel like I have a good understanding of my workouts and I really enjoy them. I am still not capable of running but I am understanding that my knee may not let me so instead I speed walk. Getting to the Y isn’t always easy because I am made to feel guilty for not being home. The struggle bus closed it’s doors and took me for a ride when the weight issue began. I was struggling with guilt but would push it aside and say I need to do this to be a better Mom and person for everyone. The nutrition piece was frustrating me because I wanted to do it right even though I knew anything was healthier than my past habits. The weight yo-yo I just can’t get past. I would be so excited one week with weight loss but then the next I would be right back up. I have bounced between these same 3-4 numbers on the scale and just can’t seem to get lower. I am watching everyone else lose and I try not to compare myself but I want to lose weight also. I am happy knowing that I am getting healthier and I am very thankful for all the help I have had so far and the friendships I have made. I just want off the struggle bus and find my bus stop that will allow the weight to get off of me. I want to see all the hard work that I am putting in to this have results. There is weight to be lost and a goal I have for myself once the weight is gone but I need to find what is keeping that from happening. It is frustrating and there are days I want to quit but I’m not a quitter so I push on. I just want to find my stop and get off this struggle bus and start seeing results.