I know I have not blogged in a while and I apologize. We had another death in my family and I have been busy working, taking care of my gma and working out. I am at 23 lbs down!!! I am so excited about that!! I have new pants that I wasn’t able to wear 6 weeks ago. My husband is also joining me on this journey so he is down 35 lbs (I hate how men lose it faster!!). I am so glad he is doing it with me it would be so hard to do it by myself. I am also glad that he is excited about it like me, he will wake up in the morning, weigh himself, and get all excited when he sees it move or when his pants won’t fit anymore. I really don’t think I would be doing this without the help of a support group that is also doing it with you. I have another friend who is doing Robs Big Losers with me and it really helps to keep each other accountable and encourage each other. This really has been life changing for me and I love this new lifestyle in my life. Thanks again his radio!!
Well I guess when you declare you are going to fight stronger against the devil he takes it and fights back too. Woke up Monday and got a call that my grandmothers (one that I take care of) twin sister passed away that morning. Monday I was fighting depression hard!! 2 deaths in 2 weeks is hard. I was also the one who had to tell her since her own daughter wouldn’t. That really depressed me also I asked my mom is she was going to come over and see her and she flipped on me. That just made it worse! And so I was thinking its crazy how I am trying to get my life straight and I feel like everything that I am trying to do is falling apart. I made up my mind though and knew I was not going to let this get me down either, I may feel like I am alone in life but I have a support group that is amazing. So last night me and my husband went to my friends house and we all worked out together. My friends husband told me that no matter how hard it get I have to keep pressing on and that life gets hard but we cant just stop because of that. I just really needed encouragement and laughter last night and that’s what I got. I thank the Lord for the friends he has gave me and again for giving me this opportunity. I have lost 4 inches so far and 16 pounds!!
Whew let me tell you!!! The devil is really fighting this change in my life!! Last weekend something happened that got me really down. I was trying to tell myself that I am worth it and not to give up just because of something small that no longer matters it just really hurts when the people that are supposed to love and protect you do just the opposite. Then today it was a really busy day, and when I was at the store tonight I got a call that really wrecked me, My therapist from the Julie Valentine Center is no longer with them. The one I told everything to, the person I thought was going to be there with me till the end (and I was close!!)up and quit. I now have to start over with another therapist…
But you know what. I know the devil is behind all of the attacks this week and last and if the devil wants to fight I will fight back HARDER. I know my purpose here on this earth is threatening to the devil because I can give hope to people who have been in my situation and feel like they can’t get out. So I just went and listened to some praise and worship and talked to God and I listened to the song “I am not alone” by Kari Jobe twice. The first time it hit me, actually hit me that no matter how many people leave me here on this earth and no matter how lonely I feel that God is always with me. Never leaving my side.
Joshua 1:9- Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go!
I know that had nothing to do with food and nutrition but I thought it might encourage some people 🙂 I was proud of myself when I got upset I wanted to workout not eat like I used to!!!
I’m not gonna sit here and tell you my week has been daisies and roses when it hasn’t. Everybody I have talked to has been sick or knows someone that was!! My crazy week started last Wednesday when my husband lost his grandpa. The wake was Saturday night and the funeral was Sunday with a family gathering after the funeral at the grandparents old house. Now my husband has a HUGE family!! 11 kids is what his grandpa had and 30+ grandkids and even more great grandkids so we had quite a bit of food there. I got there thinking ok I can still do this low carb thing I’ll just eat the fried chicken without the skin and green beans. Well I was not feeling good that day I have noticed that green tea has a lot of vitamin c in it and so my husband got me some green tea and we did not look at the back till the end when I was done drinking it and it was 24 carbs for what I just drank!!! I was a little bit upset but I was like that’s ok I will just make tonight my carb night for the week so that’s what I did. Woke up feeling worse on Monday with a bad sinus infection but I still went to the gym and did what I could(which was not much since I couldn’t breathe) but at least I tried!! Tuesday didn’t feel any better and I stuck to my diet but decided to take a day off and let my body rest and I drank some Apple Cider Vinegar which I have heard helps to shorten colds and woke up today feeling good!!! Maybe a little tired cause I have not been eating much but the sinus was gone!! Its amazing what just a little bit of that stuff can do. I also have weighed myself and the scale has not changed much but my waist and chest has changed which I love!! I was a little worried because a couple of months ago I couldn’t fit the pants I wore to the funeral but tried them on last week and it was easy to get on!! SO excited!! Hope everybody that is sick feels better!
We had our run this morning at the y and I woke up to go make breakfast and went to put my Robs Big Loser Shirt on and it was looser!! I also noticed it at work last night when my scrubs fit easier!! When I did the running this morning it was a little harder than I thought it would be. I have not been able to meet with my friend at Furman this week so I have been using the treadmill instead of outside running and today I realized they are totally different when you are running for 3 minutes at a time but I did it because Doug pushed me!!! I am really thankful for a trainer like him and all that he does to help us. 2 weeks ago I took my before picture a little late but I didn’t know that in 2 weeks there could be such a difference. I am amazed at what this diet and exercise is doing for me!! I am so so grateful for this opportunity I have and how it has helped me!! Thank you again His Radio!!
Today I went to the gym to do my running and checked my weight and I am down 2 more lbs. That’s 15 lbs so far!! I can tell it in my face and my stomach. I am also noticing how the running is getting easier as we do it, which kind of blows my mind cause at the beginning 1 minute was sooo hard. I am doing the keto diet which is low carb high fat and it is working amazing for me. I don’t seem to overeat like I used to and my craving for sweets has gone down also. I am so glad I am finding something that is working and I can see myself doing for the rest of my life. This is a lifestyle change not a diet for me. I also am doing carb nite along with my diet so every 7-10 days after 5:00 I start eating carbs. They want you to eat stuff to spike your insulin because when you starve yourself of carbs for so long the hormones that go along with the insulin that burn fat drop also so they want you to spike your insulin to get those hormones back up and then the next day you starve yourself of the carbs again but when your insulin stays down the hormones are back up!! The first time I did it I didn’t think anything was going to happen I thought I was going to gain but I lost another pound the day after!!
EMDR is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. EMDR is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the systems of emotional distress that are results of disturbing life experiences. From what my therapist told me it is taking the feeling away from the abuse. When somebody is abused they take a negative belief with them and that negative belief stays with them until it gets taken away with EMDR. Well I had my second session of EMDR yesterday and we were battling my negative belief that I am not good enough and I hit a breakthrough!! The image in my head was big me picking up little me and telling little me you are worth it and I love you and I felt free after that. I started crying and I feel now like I am good enough and I am worth it. This is not the end of EMDR because I have a couple more beliefs to deal with but I am so glad it is working!
The side effects of EMDR have hit me today though. My therapist told me I would be tired and boy do I feel it. I’m trying not to let it get me down and away from working out but it is kind of hard when your body is tired and your brain wants you to work out. At least today is not a running day I just have to do the at home workout. I just wanted to say thanks also to the people that are following me through this journey and supporting me. It really means a lot and helps me keep going.
This week has been a good week.I LOST 10 LBS!!! I woke up this morning and noticed my face was skinnier also!Honestly one of the best weeks I’ve had in a while. Since I have been on my diet and working out I feel more energy and have been happier. I have also noticed my anxiety go way down, except for when I tried running in my neighborhood and my mind was playing with me making me anxious so I just went to the gym to run instead. I’m trying to get out of my head that the whole world is bad but its hard when you’ve had what happened to me happen. The first time we met at the y to do our running it was so hard and I was so sore the next day!! Yesterday when I went I noticed that it was not as hard as the first time and I woke up this morning not sore!! I am so excited for this journey and this is not just a 12 week thing for me this is a lifestyle change. Thankyou HIS RADIO for this opportunity to kick start my new life.
My name is Anna Neal. I am on this journey for a reason. Let me start from the beginning. I grew up in a strict Christian home, went to Bob Jones almost all threw my childhood. We looked like a normal family on the outside but that was far from the truth. Between the ages of 4-6 I was molested by someone in my immediate family. As a kid I had no idea how to deal with my emotions, so I ate to make myself feel better. By the time I was in middle school I was a size 16 and almost 200. I kept my emotions hidden inside and didn’t know how to get them out. My phrase was “Fake it ’til you make it.” I tried to hold it in for so long but when me and my husband (now) were talking about getting married that’s when it all hit me. I couldn’t have my dream wedding because I always dreamed about my dad walking me down the aisle, and that wasn’t going to happen.
So that’s when I reached out and got help from the Julie Valentine Center, a free counseling center for Sexual assault victims and victims of childhood sexual abuse. I have been going since August, 2016 and me and my husband eloped to Gatlinburg in October, 2016, just him and me. The Julie Valentine Center has helped me SO much! I’m not gonna sit here and tell you it was easy. It was really hard at first to deal with my emotions and that was due to the PTSD. They have taught me some amazing coping skills to help get myself out of panic attacks and flashbacks.
God has been my rock in this storm. When I started my journey the song “Good, Good Father” came out and I feel like that was for me. God really has shown me that he is my father and a good one!! So my journey started August and now I am adding the body to this journey. So I am working on body and mind and with God I can do this!!!