Crazy! Prayers appreciated.

On Thursday I took my hubby to the doctor for an Asthma flare and our PCP sent us to the hospital because his oxygen levels dropped when he walked around. We went to the hospital in Charlotte because it’s much more reliable than our local hospital and thank God that we did. Six hours after arriving for what we thought was a simple asthma flare that would be treated and we’d be sent home the doctor came in and told us the crazy news. My 28 year old extremely active husband has a large blood clot in each of his lungs and he was being admitted immediately for monitoring and treatment. The next day we found out that he also has a smaller clot in his leg and blood around his heart both of which are to be expected with the clots in his lungs but nevertheless still scary. He is now on two blood thinners and we are waiting to see if he has a genetic defect or disorder that is causing the clots. Either way there is a good chance that he will no longer be able to do his current job, auto glass installation, do to the danger of him getting cut and bleeding out.

Also, last Monday my disabled aunt (mom’s sister) was taken to the hospital with pneumonia, last Tuesday my uncle (mom’s brother) who they thought had lung cancer was diagnosed with Stage 4 inoperable brain cancer that had metastasized to his lungs, and last Saturday my aunt (dad’s half sister in NJ) passed away unexpectedly. Talk about a crazzzzzy week.

Fast forward to today… I came home for the first time in a week and boy it was overwhelming. I cleaned the house bought bumper guards for the furniture, new bath mats,  and came in to work for a bit. The next few days with discharge looming will be very difficult for my hubby and I because there are so many changes that will need to be made in our lifestyle. Please keep us in your prayers. Coming home with my husband without my parents home to help me and support me will be difficult but we are blessed to have an amazing church family who will be there for us.

I will run on April 22nd no matter if I’m the last one finished and cry the whole time I will finish what I started. I look forward to seeing everybody in my group hopefully I’ll be back this week or next.

Crazy Weather

I don’t know what the weather up y’all’s way is like but NC needs to get it’s act together! Yesterday it was almost 90 degrees and today the high is 55. Between my arthritis (yes, I’m 26 with arthritis and it stinks) and my asthma/allergies I feel terrible. Sneezing, coughing, and itchy eyes are a new normal, at least until the weather straightens out. I did a fitness class today that my job offers at our Y (it’s in the very small town I work in and named after our founder so we consider it ours). I’ve done the class before but was intimidated by the intensity of the instructor and the fact that I was too out of shape to keep up. At that time I had the wrong mentality. I felt like if I couldn’t keep up even though she encouraged us to modify the exercises to our abilities that I wasn’t successfully working out. I also struggled with my self esteem as most of the people taking the class are thin and in good shape and the instructor could enter a bodybuilder competition and win. Today I went into it with the mindset that whatever I accomplished was more than I would be able to do on my own and that I was getting out there and changing up my routine was enough. I did have to modify about halfway through and just did some of the exercises sitting down because my legs felt like jell-o. I came out of the class feeling really good mentally and physically but I know I’ll be super sore tomorrow especially as I still have to do my second run this afternoon. I really think getting it out and talking about my issue with seasonal depression has helped me to feel a little better as well as trying to spend more time outside and exercising. Thank you for all the support and for the outlet that blogging gives me. Prayers for everyone this week for energy, motivation, and victory!

The internal struggle

I have been struggling with seasonal depression for the last week or so but nobody thinks it is a real problem. I feel like hibernating at home and never going out again. I don’t look forward to any of the things I’ve enjoyed doing and have had to force myself to go out of the house. Work is an everyday battle and I’ve been late almost everyday because I just don’t want to leave the house. I come home and am super clingy with my husband and don’t want either of us to have to go out. It makes me feel bad when he has to really coerce me to get me to go anywhere but I can’t help feeling that way. I feel like there is no point in having to go out and interact with people  because I don’t know how to act on a good day much less when I don’t want to be there. I know that part of it is the Devil using my weaknesses against me when it comes to social interaction but the other part is out of my control. Last night I told my bible study leader that I was struggling with seasonal depression and you could have heard a pin drop. She’s normally so chatty and I felt like I made her uncomfortable by telling her that I was struggling. My parent’s don’t believe in depression or my emotional disorder that I take medication for they believe that if you’re a Christian that you can’t have any of those things. At work they think I’m using it as a crutch to be late and cranky. My husband is literally a gift from God because he encouraged me to see a doctor and a therapist to try to help me through my issues. All I can do now is pray and continue to have hope until my body decides to have victory over this seasonal depression. Please know that these conditions are real and people who struggle with them need to feel like they can talk about it without others thinking negatively of them. Please keep me in your prayers as I struggle with this seasonal depression.

Life is crazy!

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted and it’s been nuts. I had the stomach bug and was over it by the time I went to my last group run (3/4) but I was so dehydrated that I couldn’t run as much as everyone else. It was really discouraging but everyone was kind and it motivated me to finish even though I had to walk. I talked to one of the Athletic Trainers while I was there and she confirmed that what I have going on with my leg pain is posterior shin splints. It’s nice to know I’m not crazy and have a definite reason for the pain. I got one and a half runs in last week before they really flared up so I felt pretty good. My eating has not been very good though. Since I got my appetite back from the stomach bug I’ve been eating too much of carb loaded foods. I am working on balancing it back out but feel like I’m starting from scratch. I’m going to KT tape my shin splints today before I run and do some message to the areas before my run which I’m praying will keep my pain levels down. The athletic trainer also told me to take advil  or aleeve about and hour before I run to help keep the inflammation down which should keep the shin splints at bay. I hate that I missed last weeks group run but boy did I need some rest and time with my husband! I am excited to see everyone on Saturday I missed being with the group. I am praying that everyone is doing well and making progress. I haven’t really lost much weight but my endurance has increased greatly and my liver tests (I have them done every 3 mo because I have a fatty liver) have gone down more than ever before. I haven’t gone for my lipid panel yet but I’m sure when I get the results they will look much better as well. Praying everyone stays injury and illness (that flu and stomach bug are going around like crazy!) free and that we can all meet up with Doug Saturday. Also, anybody going to the mid-program celebration that Leslie posted about on our Facebook group? My husband is coming up with me on Saturday and we’re going to try to go after group run.

The good, the bad, & the ugly

Well the good is that I don’t have a stress fracture or shin splints but the bad is that no one can tell me why my leg hurts. Stretching and exercising has helped some but it still hurts. There is also no soft tissue damage which is good but it is really frustrating to be in pain and the doctors can’t tell you what’s wrong. I can start back on normal exercising again and re-start my running program. Which leads to the ugly I started last night on week 3 as the at home group is repeating it and it was not the best choice I’ve made. I ending up running most of the 1st run but the 2nd one (3 mins) was vicious. I was having to do it in spurts and in the end I decided to end the workout. At first I was upset because I felt like a failure but then I reminded myself that I hadn’t worked out (other than water aerobics) since last week and I was breaking in new running shoes. So I decided to give myself a little break and ended up walking for about 30 mins after I ended the C25K workout out. I am going to start today doing the Week 1 workout, then tomorrow and Sunday I will do Week 2, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I will do Week 3, and start Week 4 on Thursday so that I end my last workout with my group. I feel like I’ve gone back to square one but I refuse to sink I will keep going and I will succeed through Christ who gives me strength!

I have only been able to make one of my team meetings so far but I am committed to completing this program and becoming a healthier happier me. I miss the team aspect but I am thankful for all of my family and church family for being supportive. I have started meeting with a few ladies at church and we are going to start the Daniel Plan lifestyle change and I love that I’ll have people to be accountable to. I can’t wait to meet with my group next week please pray that I can stay on my training schedule and that I can resist all of the sweets my co-workers insist on bringing in.

Praying everyone stays healthy and has a great weekend! (P.S. I have been taking tons of vitamin C and zinc to ward off all the germs and so far so good!)

 

Water Aerobics!

So I posted yesterday about my struggle with my shin splint and my plans to keep on exercising but I never expected that I would enjoy water aerobics so much! I am not fond of water unless it’s at the beach and even then I’m cautious because I’m not a strong swimmer but the class yesterday made me feel like a mermaid. The teacher was awesome she had shin splints in the past and suggested that I take the water weights (to keep me afloat) and do the exercises closer to the deep end to keep pressure off my leg. I also felt safer knowing that one of the college kids in my Sunday school class was the life guard ( I knew he worked as a lifeguard at the Y but I didn’t realize he worked at the one I got to). I strongly encourage you to do water aerobics even if you’re not injured it’s a good workout. At first I thought sheesh I’m working out with the silver sneakers group this is going to be an easy workout but boy was I wrong. First I haven’t worked out since last Wednesday when I got the shin splint and the teacher encouraged them (the silver sneakers group)  to adapt the exercises and go at their own pace but she was hard core. I came out feeling better than I have in a while it was definitely a great experience.  I’m a little sore today but my leg didn’t bother me as much after class and this morning since I actually stretched and used the muscles without causing pain.

Pray for me tonight as I go to my women’s bible study group the theme for snacks tonight is ‘comfort food’ and I am going to be fighting a tough battle to eat healthy. I am bringing carrot sticks and low fat ranch dip and I’m hoping that someone else brings a somewhat decent snack as we have two diabetics in the group who can’t load up on carbs. I’ll let you know how it goes. What bothers me the most is the idea that you have to have food to comfort you it’s a cycle that I’m working hard to break but I’m sure they aren’t meaning it that way. I’ll probably going on a tangent tonight about how God should be our comfort not food. On a good note I can’t come up with a food that comforts me anymore. Before I would have said Japanese food especially fried rice but now I realize when I’m upset there is no magic food that will take away my problems. I feel like I’m winning the battle and that food doesn’t control me anymore!

 

 

 

Setbacks

I was so pumped up last Wednesday because I heard my RBL interview on His Radio so I decided to be more active and to work out a little harder. Unfortunately I worked out too hard, did too much too soon, and ended up with a shin splint. Part of it I’m sure was the fact I was being stubborn about getting running shoes because oh my goodness the one the running shoe store wanted me to buy were $125. I was in the process of doing research on different shoes that were for overpronation and stability but I hadn’t found any yet that were in a price range that I could afford. Anyway shin splints are no joke they are painful and more irritating than any injury I have ever had. I was planning to come to the group run on Saturday but between my injury and the fact that our assistant basketball coach had the flu I had to stay home.

The most difficult part of having to rest and stay off my feet is that I feel like a failure. I feel like I should just be able to run through the pain but I know that that’s not practical. If I push my self and worsen my injury than I won’t be able to workout for even longer. It still feels awful though. I’m better at going to the gym than I am sticking to eating healthy for sure. However, this weekend I have decided that I need to seriously focus on my diet and realized that maybe that’s why I got the shin splint so that I would have to slow down and focus on more than going to the gym. I am starting to eliminate carbs from my diet, I will still eat carbs but they will be God-made carbs and I won’t eat a large portion of them.

I did find my running shoes this weekend and boy what a deal! I had looked at a shoe brand called Newton when I was doing my research and they had great reviews and were exactly the type I needed but the price was insane $150-$200 a pair so I knew that I wouldn’t be getting those. God had a different plan though. We went to Dick’s sporting goods which normally I don’t get anything at because they’re pretty pricey and normally don’t have good sales but this time I hit the jackpot. I found a pair of Newton running shoes on sale for 75% off! I asked the shoe clerk why they were getting rid of them and he said that they were a newer brand that were really good but that they weren’t selling well. So I cautiously tried them on thinking that if they felt okay I might get them and when I tried them on my feet were on cloud 9. I got them and I know it was all God because the shoes were originally $174.99 already marked down to $164.99 and then 75% the last marked price so I got them for $45 with tax!!!! I love a good deal and that was an amazing deal!

Unfortunately I will not get to try them out running until later this week but I will be going to the gym to do stationary bike and to swim so that I can keep on exercising without putting pressure on my leg. I am going to have a great week no matter what obstacles come my way I am going to go to the gym and eat better every day. I hope that everyone has a great week!

Obstacles and No More Excuses

I haven’t posted in almost two weeks and I feel awful about it. I’m really struggling and I have been since the beginning. Being so far away from my at home team members is difficult but I only have one more basketball game that I’m coaching so I’ll be able to meet up every Saturday with my team and I’m hoping to feel more connected.

The first week after the kick off I started having side and back pain that landed me in urgent care. I found out that I had a severe kidney infection but decided to go to the gym Saturday to meet up with my team and it was great. I left feeling good and encouraged. I did great the following Monday I woke up early went to the gym ate pretty well and was feeling good. Tuesday things went down hill quick my husband was in a car accident. 

Praise the Lord he wasn’t seriously injured but between the whiplash and shock it was a tough rest of the week. Between staying home to take care of him and missing work for his doctor and pt appointments my diet and exercise went out the window. Once I started stress eating again it made me feel guilty instead of good. This week I am determined to do better and spent all evening yesterday pre-cooking all of my lunches and dinners for the week. This week and the rest of my program my mantra will be “No (More) Excuses”. I’ve found that the things I think I crave aren’t as tasty as they used to be and that helps. I also do better eating away from home so I am going to go through my pantry this week and purge all of the unhealthy foods especially the pasta, chips, and rice to take away the temptation.

My husband called me and told me that he heard my interview on HIS Radio yesterday but I missed it 😦 I would love to be able to find it on the replay but I don’t see it but it was a good feeling to know that even though I’m far away I’m not forgotten.

Yesterday- Victory and Defeat

Yesterday was tough. I had a great night on Tuesday we went out to my favorite Japanese restaurant and I did pretty well with what I ate. I had hibachi shrimp, mixed vegetables, half a (small) bowl of rice and my favorite bean sprouts (as a substitute for noodles). Yesterday morning I had cottage cheese, mixed nuts (no peanuts), and a few pieces of dried pineapple for breakfast but for lunch and dinner I blew my healthy eating pattern. I ate two flour tortillas with lunch, half a Philly sandwich and half order of fries for dinner, then I had a bag of chips and a big brownie for dessert.

While I am disappointed that I broke from eating healthy I learned a few very important lessons: 1) The foods I ate didn’t ‘make me feel better’ like they have in the past, 2) There is no point in wallowing in my mistake because it just makes me feel like a failure, and 3) Today’s a new day, I can start back eating the way I should and taking pride in making healthy choices. So while I was defeated by my food decisions yesterday I am claiming victory in the Lord today and praying for strength and guidance to stick to eating better.

I also had victory in exercising yesterday. Normally if I don’t feel good it would take a miracle for me to want to do anything but veg out on the couch but yesterday I decided to suck it up and power through it. I was having a terrible pain in my right side (probably what I ate at lunch since it started right after that) and I couldn’t get comfortable sitting at work and even standing hurt. I made the choice to still go out and walk with my husband and even did double the amount we normally do. It was something I needed to prove to myself , that I was stronger than my aches and pains (I have arthritis and some other issues) and that I could have victory even when I didn’t feel well.

Today I am starting anew and I am stronger from the lessons I learned yesterday. I am really excited to meet with Doug and the At Home team on Saturday for my first work out with them. I am feeling much better today and I can tell a difference just from the last few days of eating healthier. I’ve started drinking about 60 ounces of water a day and trying hard to make sure that I eat small healthy snacks in between meals so that I don’t get super hungry because that’s where I made my bad food choices.

Yesterday I also found out some information that made me want to create a healthy new lifestyle and stick with it more than ever. My husband went to the doctor and he weighs 402 lbs 😦 I feel like I’m partly to blame because I do all of the cooking and picking up fast food but I know that now is the time to take responsibility for my meal choices and make them healthy to help him as well. I’ve always struggled with how much he should be eating as he works a very physical job but now is when the rubber meets the road. If I don’t make some serious lifestyle changes at home he will be at an even higher risk for obesity related diseases.

I hate that I sound like a Debbie downer in my blogs so far but it had really been a struggle this last week and I want to be real with everyone because creating a healthy lifestyle isn’t easy or fun at first. I’ve been assured that in the next week or two healthy eating will slowly become my new normal as long as I stick with it and I’m looking forward to getting to that point. Praying for strength and wisdom for all of the RBL’s working hard to make a positive change in their lifestyles!

 

The last few days…

My name is Cayla and I’m 26 and married to an awesome guy named Wilberto. I am so excited to be a part of the At Home group for Rob’s Big Losers this year!  Thursday was a bit intimidating for me with so many people and so much information but it was nice to meet the other at home members. I thought that being at home on the weekends would be the worst for food temptation but I found out Monday morning that I was wrong. The office is my 8 hour a day struggle to eat healthy foods and not fall into the temptation of sugar and junk food. The first thing I smelled yesterday coming into the office was fresh hot Krispy Kreme doughnuts, talk about torture! I spent all day yesterday trying to overcome the intense desire to eat half a dozen doughnuts and I came out successful thanks to my family and the Lord. Today is a new day and having victory over the doughnuts yesterday makes me feel like a champion today. I am trying to eat much healthier and exercise daily but I’ve been warned that the first 21 days are the hardest and I would appreciate thoughts and prayers. I can’t wait to meet up with the At Home group and Doug on Saturday and get to know everyone! Have a blessed day and stay strong 🙂