That night was one of the most difficult I’d ever had. Exhaustion, heartache, begging God to just reach down and fix it all…
He didn’t fix it. Instead, he scooped me up in his mighty arms, he spoke clearly to me, and in that intimate moment with my Father, my transformation began.
Immediately, I learned that God loves me so much more than I could love food. I learned that He truly cares, more than I could fathom, God loves me.
The days never got easier, but my ability to get through them changed. I no longer depended on myself to get through them, my Father was there, listening, loving me. So many more times over the years, I have called on Him, begging him to let me feel him. And, he has come through every time – in a phone call from a nurse I’d never met saying, “I felt led to call and pray with you”, in text messages saying that we had been prayed for, and more.
As my faith has grown, as God has transformed my mind, and soul, he has also transformed my body. Of course, I still lean towards food at times. I’m human. However, when I am truly leaning into our gracious and merciful God, I don’t feel the urges to lean towards food. When I am truly leaning into our loving and mighty Father, I am drawn even closer to him, and I desire to be in the places where he is. My soul yearns to spend time with him, and I find that time in nature and the transforming of my body.
My physical transformation is a part of God’s pleasing and perfect will, because by having a healthier body, I am not only physically prepared, but also emotionally and mentally prepared to carry out God’s purpose for my life.
My transformation started that intimate, precious moment 6 or so years ago, when God spoke directly to me, and continues with the blessing of each new day. In the last 6 years, I have lost some weight, gained some weight, lost some more weight. My weight and health will probably always be a battle, but with God, it’s not one I have to fight alone.
As this transformation continues, I have learned that I enjoy life. It is easier to face those devastatingly difficult days when I am enjoying this life that God has given me! Our family hikes for many miles at a time, I run (albeit slow, short sprints), play with my kids, and soak up the natural beauty that God has created for our benefits and pleasure.
How different do I look today, compared to that picture circa Fall 2004? Take a look… This is me, no makeup, just finished moving appliances to clean under them, washed walls, a good, deep clean. Something else I could never do before my transformation began – I was neither physically, nor mentally able to tackle a task of that sort. It was overwhelming.
This transformation is far from over, but with our Gracious, Heavenly Father, each day brings new possibilities. It brings new mercies, it brings God’s love for each difficult step. The steps on earth will be difficult, but there is so much peace in those steps!
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble.
But take heart! I have overcome the world.
God loves you, too. He wants to have those intimate moments with you. God wants you to love him, spend time with him, and lean into him. He is our loving, gracious Father. He loves you in a perfect way, you are perfect in his eyes. If you are living in the dark times, but want to learn more about this Heavenly Father who loves you, please reach out – email me (firstname.lastname@example.org), call a pastor, talk directly to God. Just invite God, right now, to walk these times with you. He loves you!