Scared to Death

I avoided posting yesterday because I didn’t want to admit my feelings but here goes.

I was looking at the calendars and looking at the couch to 5K programs online and all were 12 weeks, 8 weeks, 9 weeks and then I got to thinking about it’s a 5K Suzanne and running, Suzanne.  I have done two 5k’s and walked them both.  So I’m scared to death, because I would like to jog/run some of this 5k and the devil is trying his very best to talk me out of it, seriously.  If you could hear the conversations in my head…lol, I’m not looney, you would understand.   So long story short, I was emailing my very best friend who talked me into sending my application in for this and I was telling her, okay I’ll admit it, I’m scared to death- I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna fall down, I may be the only one who walks it and what if I’m the last person.  And I so depend on her to tell me like it is and she did.  Her comments and I can hear her saying , “SO WHAT, you can do this and remember about 14 years ago you did 50 miles with me in three days.  Nothing matters but finishing”.  She did a half marathon awhile back and she told me through all her training and through the race, all she was concerned about was finishing, she didn’t care if she was the last one and she had to drag herself across the finish line. She did finish and I’m so proud of her.   So today while I have been working out and it’s the 2nd week of working out blues, where it’s hot, it’s long, my muscles and bones even hurt.  I hate stinky clothes and just all of it, I prayed, “Lord give me just a little more strength”  and he did and I thank him so much.